Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

You Can’t Hide…

You Can’t Hide Who You Are

I spent most of my life pretending I was normal. I tried my best to fit in. I followed the rules (for the most part) and was the perfect student, even class president. I studied life, too. But I never understood why people did what they did. Couldn’t they see a bigger picture? Why did we all have to believe the same thing and put down those who were different? The intensity of the negative response when I tried to challenge the norms scared me into wanting to belong. So I continued to hide out hoping not to be discovered. I pulled it off for decades until the strain caught up with me. My physical body no longer allowed me to continue the hoax. I fell into a spiral of exhaustion and depression that took me years to recover from. I had tried to shut down my intuition or use it only for myself. My family and friends weren’t appreciating my insights about life because I wasn’t valuing my gift either. In that dark place, I began to question if the ruse was really worth it?
At the crossroads between despair and hope, I chose to see a new way of being. My only choice… I had to learn to love myself. I slowly began to reveal my sensitivity to energy and my ability to perceive situations with a clarity that was new to those around me. Much to my surprise, others reciprocated with expressions of appreciation for my support and guidance. Acceptance began outside of my family at first and then slowly trickled in. Day by day, like a child learning to walk, I tested my abilities and let others in on my experiences. As my confidence increased, so did my willingness to allow people to see the real me. Over time, my health improved and my life became brighter and more expansive. Those early years helped me gain the courage to change. Now I see a world of limitless possibilities and I feel an integral part of it all. I understand that who I am is an essential element in the Divine design of life. I have learned that there is no need to hide because I belong here and there will always be a place for me… just the way I am.

“If we can let ourselves be truly seen, then we can be truly loved.”
(from a greeting card by Amber Lotus Publishing ©2006)